I'm Famous

When I was working for the private sector (only a few months ago), I was certainly guilty of googling myself. I think this is the latest in Internet Porn (albeit safe porn). I was frequently quoted in the latest technology news as the media contact and person quoted in a certain company's press announcements. Now, being with the feds, there is simply no claim to fame for me.

Google has already stopped indexing my pages and some silly American :-) person comes up when I google myself. However, having a famous uncle can finally count for something! This person belongs to me!

Roadtrip #254!!!

Well, we're off again. Another intrepid trip to Toronto; apparently there are no roads East from Ottawa.

We will spend time with family at a local festival and see the Metro Toronto Zoo
This time we will do the promised Canada's Wonderland. It is a once a year thing for my kids and they thoroughly enjoy it. We have been to Walt Disney World but Aiden was too young to remember and Keegan was not even around yet so this is their big adventure park tour. It will be two more years before we head back to Disney to do this activity for a whole week!

And, as with every other parent of young children we will watch til our kids eat until they vomit, ride until they ...well, vomit ... then take our cranky children home and place them in their beds. And they will talk about it for months. Thank God that we only do this once a year.

I love storms

Ottawa is do for a thunder boomer. It is all over the weather network and severe storm watches are in effect. I am not sure what it is about human nature that we revert to our archaic times and love a natural disaster. Don't get me wrong: I never want to see people hurt. I just love the cracks and booms and lighting up of the sky. The energy seems to be able to convert easily to excitement.

I have passed this love off to my children. Albeit, slowly over numerous storms. The beginning is always a little shaky. The littlest still needs to be held close and snuggled during the 'booms' as he calls it. And he runs into the house in fear if he cannot get close enough to me or my sister. But, I know he will come around.

Some of the best summer times I remember (and there are lots) are of sitting outside, wrapped up in a blanket, during a summer storm. Even when Liam was just a year old we would take out some books and watch the rain while we read. Now, we have a wonderful porch on the front of the house and can usually sit without getting wet. The blanket, while no longer a necessity, is still there. The Dr. Seuss books have been replaced with cars and tractor books and the occassional Munsch. The result is still the same.

A little bit of peace, in the midst of natural chaos. Maybe that is why I relate to it so well :-).

Here is a site for those of you into the more serious stuff.

I just had the perfect weekend

With some kind of co-operation between man and God, I just had the perfect weekend. In Ottawa the weather was a balmy but not stifling 27 degrees and the sun was wonderful.

On Saturday, the babe and I rode up to the grocery store on my bike. Using the trailer, we managed to bring home a full load of groceries with him laughing and giggling the whole way. I have to admit it is a little unnusual to have to ask the gentleman behind me to stop pulling my top up while we ride. Not completely new to me, but unnusual. :-)

The afternoon was relaxing as well. While the littlest slept, the big guys played at the park and I finally started the new Harry Potter book. I only got a few pages in when a crane tractor (insert formal construction name here) pulled up on the side street and started doing his construction thing. We scrambled to get Keegan up then sat, like weird stalkers, on the sidewalk watching as he worked. The sheer wonderment in Aiden and Keegan's face was worth every minute.

On Sunday, Todd went for his mountain bike ride with a friend allowing the gang and I to have a leisurely breakfast. Once dressed and fed, we packed up snacks for a trip to the Papanack Zoo. We had scored free passes and brought our own snacks so the kids got to see all the animals without it costing the price of a small car. On the way home, we stopped at a local veggie booth for fruit and headed straight for my sister's pool. She is in a complex with a fantastic pool. Great shade, solid fencing :-), a diving board and bleechers for the bored kids to play on.

Now, the hard part is that I had to leave to come to work this morning. My husband is off on holidays with the boys this week with a wild week of waterparks and skateboarding planned. I am envious. I hope that they have fantastic weather and good moods for the whole week and that we can have a repeat wonderful weekend coming up.

Calling All Artists

I'm a little slow today; reacting to the heat and the fact this it is finally FRIDAY. Instead of my usual wisdom and insight :-), I am giving you a link to take a look at. This could be your calling grandmanan! Lordy knows you have all the rough sketches that you need.

http://www.themonsterengine.com

I'm a Hufflepuff

"Get Sorted!"

Wouldn't you like to be a Hufflepuff too???

What do you get when you melt 15 pounds of gummi bears?

A mega gummy!

Jen, Jon - you HAVE to show this to your little joke teller.

http://homepage.mac.com/vasu42/PhotoAlbum5.html

I've Been Tagged

Well, I am still learning lots about this blogger thing but apparently Postcards from the Mothership has tagged me and the etiquette is that I act accordingly. Let's see if I can answer the questions aimed at me with dexterity and flair. :-)


1. What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life? (Note: That I will admit to on my blog)

Let me start by saying that I have regretted aspects of pretty much every decision in life at some point or another. However, there is no 'huge' regrets that come to mind.

A. Not taking the chance to travel when I was younger. I was too concerned about day-to-day things and I regret not travelling before I had other commitments.

B. Quitting the feds before having two children. I don't regret the experiences I have had in the private sector, just the 100% top up on maternity leave.

C. Not taking French in high school. Really regret this one.

2. At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?

Now, and always, my husband Todd.

3. If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up five people to dine with, who would you pick?

Princess Di, JFK, Hitler, Shakespere, and the person who discovered the coffee bean. All for different reasons.

4. If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?

A. That I could have a double: willing to work long hours and make money, then clean and cook all night. I think they used to call these slaves...

B. That there could be an appeal board in life. For those things in life that should NOT be happening. Somewhere you can present your case, then have the situation overturned.

C. That weight loss was simple and easy.

5. Someone is visiting your hometown/place where you live at the moment. Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.

Ottawa does not have that big city feel. I would have more live theatre, better exclusive shopping and exotic spots to eat. I think that is three things...

Things to avoid? Construction, if you can...and the Prescott! :-)

6. Name one event that has changed your life.

Having children has completely changed my perspective. I am no longer living life just by what I would like. Now, I have three (sometimes, four) people that need to come first. That is life altering.

7. Tag 3 people.

Mommy Abroad

Fly Me to the Moon

Laid Off Dad

Beam me up Scotty; There is no intelligent life down here.

How many of us Gen-Xers have used that phrase? Well, Scotty has died. It is a changing of the guards for the Star Wars era of life...

See the story.

I think two year olds become possessed

So, I remember this stage with my other boys. I remember being frustrated at times but I really thought that, since I had experience, this time would be easier. Two year olds are hard to parent. Without killing them...

Keegan is hitting. Everyone but Jon will reassure me that this is normal for a two year old. But Keegan is hitting kids that are much bigger than him and doing it for no reason. At the park last night, Keegan climb up the play structure then turned around and hit a four year old on the top of the head. And laughed.

Now the four year old hardly even noticed but I did. I am doing all the normally prescribed things: I use my harsh voice, I tell him it hurts, I remove him from the situation and I try to "spot" to catch the hit before it lands on its dedicated target. He is still hitting.

Now, personally, as a parenting technique, I don't believe that hitting a child is effective. All the research shows that spanking or smacking simply teaches the child how to wield authority. While I certainly have lost my cool in the past, it is very rare that I hit my children. So, that rules out corporal punishment.

Frankly, I think this is just a stage - the same way that Liam used to bite. Keegan has a strong personality with two older siblings and parents to boss him around. I can absolutely understand his need to control something, even if that means creating a negative reaction from another child. No doubt there are those around me that figure I am raising a serial killing who will slap and push his victims to their grave.

Go ahead, weigh in....

Supposedly, men grow up

Personally, I think they just age.

So, there is a song out on the radio right now that goes something like this:

Don't waste your time on me, you're already a voice inside my mind.

The boys were singing this song at the supper table last night and were in the middle of a heated discussion on whether "mind" rhymes with "time" when daddy (the educated, intelligent and well-employed) comes up with another rendition:

Don't waste your breath on me, you're already a fart inside my bum.

Yes, folks. That would be the adult starting this one. Poor Liam actually snorted milk from his nose, which caused no end of hysterics from Aiden and Keegan (who really had NO idea why he was laughing at all).

Sigh. And that was the start of the slippery slope that caused me to lose my sanity...

What is a tree without any oats?

The answer, according to the remarkably talented 7 year old commedian from the back of the van: a marshmellow... and the van erupts in ear curdling, pee your pants laughter. Hmmmm....

When did I become so out of touch that this is simply not funny? You know, I always aim to be the "hip" mom so, despite my reservations about the ability of these jokes to make it in a 'reality TV' setting, I want to be 'in touch' with my kids. So, I give it a try.

The next joke is delivered and I am at the quick. It is something about a tree lacking oats. Ooohhh! ohhh! I scream: I know this one. "It is a marshmellow," I yell. Then I sit back and wait for the howls of laughter. None follow. Confused, I listen to the first 7 year old whisper to the second 7 year old... a marshmellow. And the van erupts with giggles and snickers again.

And, it appears, they are passing the torch across oceans to be continued in multiple languages...poor Germans did not even see it coming.

It must be the delivery I convince myself. Something to be watched and learned. Who am I kidding? Until I can remember how to burp on command, I am just an outsider looking in... Somehow I think that is a good thing.

Coming to a comedy show near you - don't feel free to participate in the show. Just sit back and watch ... 7 year old burping, farting and dumb (REALLY dumb) jokes. Postcards, baby, this one is coming to your hometown soon! Yours, fortunately or not, have the genetics to guarantee it. :-)

Starting today, how fast you age is entirely up to you

So, I think about growing older. I have plans to travel when I no longer have to work every day. I think about spending time with grandchildren and getting to know my spouse again. Imagine my surprise when I found a link to a site that claims you can trick the universe and age more slowly than you'd think. Hey, I'm in to that.

Imagine my surprise when it seems that I am (marginally) younger than my calendar age. And that diet and exercise CAN influence how quickly you age - with dramatic results. Take the test for yourself. For the record, I am 1.6 years younger than my actual age based on things like low blood pressure, good genetics and the red meat ick factor.

Take the test - let me know how you rate. Watch out though: stress and life factors have a huge impact, maybe more so than diet and exercise at the high levels of stress.

Je doit parler en francais

Comme Postcards from the Mothership maman, je travaille pour le gouvernement federale donc je doit parler en francais. Je ne sais pas au parler en francais. Il y a une probleme.

Canada is a bilingual country. Not to be confused with countries like France where it is the norm for people to speak both languages, in Canada 84% of people speak English only. Seriously, here are the stats. However, to work for the federal government you cannot expect to be the norm. And I walked into this knowing that I would need to get stronger in French. Ok, seriously, I was hoping to force them into working in English but apparently that ain't gunna work.

So, back into French training I go. No more time to surf random blogs and play wack-a-mole on my PC. Now, all the time that I spend doodling around my actual work deliverables will have to be focused on learning.

It is something that I have always wanted to master. With the amount of time I have put into it, you would think I was half way there. Somehow, some of us seem to be able to obtain bilingual status making it look easy. I am not one of those people. I struggle over understanding the 'why' of the language rather than just learning the 'is'.

Mais, je doit etre bilingual donc je doit practice. Bien sur!

My almost 2 year old fell last night

Now, for any of you who know kids out there, this title is not a big revelation. Kids fall all the time. However, they don't USUALLY fall out of a crib, with the sides up, after they have been coddled and rocked and read books to.

He fell flat on his head and has a massive bump there. Once I inspected all moving parts and snuggled down the ouchies, I was left with a decision to make. Do I put him back into bed to fall asleep, hoping that I do not have to deal with a severe head injury or do I break my rule of putting kids to bed drowsy (but awake) so they can learn to get to sleep on their own....

I decided to take him for a walk in the stroller - we went to go see a hot air balloon land. On our return home, daddy took over and read him the riot act before putting him in the crib. Has anyone else had this problem? I don't think he is ready for a big boy bed but I do not want to risk injury.

To Liam -

Sometimes life gets busy and I forget to recognize that there are a lot of pressures on you as the oldest of three boys. You are expected to be independent and actually help care for your younger brothers. You are expected to understand that your needs sometimes come second or third or fourth. You are expected to be tolerant of their inability to share, respect your privacy and put your toys back where they found them. And, as parents, we have become so used to you living up to these expectations that we often forget that you are also just a kid.

I would like to take the time now to tell you all the things I love about you and why I am so grateful that you are my son.

1) You are always happy and full of life. I delight in watching you play imaginative games with your friends and envy the confidence you have that everything will be fine.

2) You think independently. Since I have known you - at 2, 3, 4 - you have been a leader that others will follow. You think for yourself and while, I don't always understand your decisions, I always know you made them for yourself.

3) You are athletic and competitive. This will give you your drive to succeed in life, and the ability to follow through.

4) You are compassionate to others and easily understand that they are sometimes sad or angry. You show tolerance and patience for those that are different from you.

5) You have a terrible sense of humour :-). Individuals have to be known for something, I guess.

6) You are extremely intelligent. Concepts come quickly and without a challenge.

7) You are a natural teacher that takes delight in helping others learn.

8) You collect things and organize them. Stones, rubber bands, pieces of chalk; all categorized in a box (somewhere) in your room. I think this organization gives you peace.

9) You are adaptable. Nothing breaks your stride; you simply process and keep moving.

10) You are social. You have built yourself a network of friends with similar interests. You also use those relationships to learn about things that are different from your experiences.

I don't think we tell you often enough how special you are and how much you are loved.

Mommy

We Did It!

We did it! (Insert Dora theme here).

We completed our intrepid trek to Toronto and made it back with five (sometimes howling children) and Mommy Abroad's spouse only needed a few beers to recover. Here is the Reader's Digest version!

Thursday
Arrive in Toronto at 9 pm after having listened to Spiderman and Spiderman2. You see the mini television sits on the console right beside me. And the speaker faces up, screaming spidey senses into my ears. Luckily, commotion like that has become white noise to me so the drive was a happy one with the boys content to eat and watch movies for 4 hours. Head to the park to burn off steam, destroy my brother's "special" collection of Lego. Sleep.

Friday
Head to the Ontario Science Center. What a fantastic place for kids. The feature there is Summer Thrills and we saw a Dangerous Science exhibit in which the boys got to watch things being blown up. For a four and seven year old, things don't get much better than that. In fact, the twenty-something guy beside me seemed quite thrilled as well. From there it was one to the G-Force rider and the science of roller coasters. The boys had a blast.

Saturday
We drove up to my dad's place to catch frogs and hit the beach. The creek was infested with mosquitoes so that was short-lived and the beach had seaweed, something my boys were not used to. However, the outdoor fireplace and marshmallows were an absolute hit.

Sunday
We went for a swim at a cousin's pool - thanks Murray and Diana. And headed back to Toronto for the pick up. The drive home with five children was chaos and completely what I was expecting. Traveling in a car long a distance with a baby is always challenging and BJ was DONE. The “I want out RIGHT NOW” that only a fifteen month old can achieve. The older gang was kept busy with the television and what it is like to live in different countries. The cutest of all was the middle-ests sleeping in the same bed together, practically on top of each other. Todd has taken a picture and I will insert tonight.

Now begins the roller coaster week of day camps and pools. Let's see if Fly Me to the Moon Daddy survives the fun and frivolity.

Roadtrip!

I love to travel.

Any time. Pretty much anywhere and 'within reasonable limits' anyhow. My spouse? Not so much. We have however, found a reasonable compromise: I travel. He pays.

This weekend, I am taking the 'big boys' to Toronto. Not a big trip, nothing compared to the excursions to Europe to visit Mommy Abroad but from the perspective of a four and seven year old, as long as there is a water park and the occassional frog, they are content.

When we return, all things willing, I should have photos to share. Of the boys. Not the frogs.

Save me from Myself

Last night, I turned on the tele for a little brain freeze as I crawled into bed. Bestill my beating heart - HGTV is starting a reality show in the fall called "Neat". The show premise sees a "professional organizer" hmmmm come into a house and declutter and organize the whole thing. Right down to labelled pantry shelves.

I think Todd was talking during the intro commercial for the program but I was zoned. For someone like me -who would use the Dewy decimal system if it were not for the little people that I live with - this program looks like a little piece of nirvana. A calm oasis in the chaos of life.

Funny thing that "organization". The individuals involved in the organizing always look at it like a feat they have accomplished, akin to swimming with sharks or climbing Mount Everest. For the others involved (namely my spouse), the challenge of de-organizing looms. He claims I rebel against authority; he rebels against organization.

While I can't find any links to the show on the site yet, I did stumble across this which could minimize the impact of the little people. Is it really possible to enlist youngsters into the obsession?

Church of Scientology

So, Tom Cruise has made quite a ripple in society recently with his association with the Church of Scientology and criticisms of Brooke Shields. Since I liked him in Mission Impossible, I wanted to see what makes him tick and stumbled upon the recruitment questionnaire for entry into the Church of Scientology.

Now that questionnaire only has 200 of the 343 more revealing questions so I have pulled some interesting ones out for your perusal ...


• Have you ever set a poor example?
Yes, and I will never again be allowed to drive in the State of New York

• Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?
Whenever possible, preferably my children and always on days ending in "Y"

• Have you ever castrated anyone?
Literally or metaphorically?

• Have you ever philosophized when you should have acted instead?
Hmm...I often act when maybe I should philosophize. Does that count for something?

• Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?
Hell no, I came because Earth Boys Are Easy

• Have you systematically set up mysteries?
I'm not even sure what angle to take this question, but for some reason I wanna say yes.....

• Have you ever gone crazy?
When was I actually sane again?

• Have you ever sought to persuade someone of your insanity?
Oh...there's no need to persuade...

• Have you ever deserted, or betrayed, a great leader?
I can't think of it that way.....I loved him, things just didn't work out......

• Do you deserve to have any friends?
Only good friends...that will take care of my kids and do nice things for me

• Do you deserve to be enslaved?
Didn't I see this in a porn movie at one point? Not that I would know anything about that.... (this is a church questionnaire right?!?!)

• Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?
Only on the weekends, never a weekday, and only in the comfort of my garage ;-)

• Have you ever zapped anyone?
Ooh, is that considered sexual harrassment?

• Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so, did you spread it?
Does one get multiple bodies in this Church? Cause if I can have a back up to clean and cook and work for me, then I'm in! I'm so caught up in the thought of an extra body that I forgot to request one WITHOUT the v/d.

• Have you driven anyone insane?
Ok, well, technically no...yeah, that's the response I am gunna stick with

• Have you ever killed the wrong person?
Not sure, cause I usually run away quickly when I strike


I, to the contrast of my better judgement, actually completed the whole questionnaire. I don't recall it being this much work to become a Catholic or a Baptist :-). I wonder if I will qualify to become a Scientologist. I wonder if Brad Pitt is a Scientologist. I need more in my life so that I stop wondering like this...

I've Been Robbed

I had the strangest experience last night. And, being Canadian to the core, I simply watched it happen and did not want to embarrass the person by saying anything. Let me set the stage.

We live across from a wonderful and very busy park. My youngest INSISTS that when we go to the park we take his 'traccors' for a walk. This means bringing the wagon completely filled - spewing over the top in fact - with tractors and diggers and shovels, buckets and balls. Til now, sharing all these things with the flurry of other children has worked very well. Excepting for the infamous orange ball.

We have three balls in the wagon. One little girl at the park particularly liked the balls and we certainly encouraged her to play with them. As we do for all the toys and all the children. The father was weird though. And here is where the situation got strange.

There is (nee, WAS) a small orange ball in the mix. I know this because it came with a package of balls purchased by my sister. It has come over to the park with us every day since I can remember. The little girl actually plays with a blue ball more regularly. I watched the father pick up the orange ball and put it over with his things. Then he slipped it inside his sandle (I was using my intuitive spidey senses to watch him out of the corner of my eye). Then, he slipped it in his bucket and told the little girl it was time to go home. He STOLE the ball.

Now, I would expect this from a child. In fact, I have told parents that I know to go ahead and take the toy home and bring it back the next day. It is just easier for them than explaining to a screaming toddler. And the toys always find their way home.

Shocked and appalled a the openness of the whole thing, I did nothing. I just watched. In fact, I almost laughed at how bizarre the situation was. So THIS is how it feels to be robbed.

In discussing the situation later with my spouse, we came to the conclusion that he MUST have the same ball at home and did not realize that this was OUR ball. But the step-by-step methodical process that he used to trap then snare the ball in his shoe was practised. Personally, I think we have a kleptomaniac in our community. A ball stealer. And some thought that Wisteria Lane had its share of shady characters. Watch out ball stealer. I have my eyes on you...

Shasta Groen

So the guy who kidnapped Shasta Groen, killing her mother, two siblings and mother's boyfriend, kept a blog. Can you imagine coming across something like this in the blog world?

http://www.katieallisongranju.com/

I have an addiction

It is time for me to come clean. I have an alter ego with a whole other life. And it is starting to affect my reality.

I am addicted to Home and Garden Television. It was always bad but now they have introducted "real estate" night. Show after show of Buy Me!, The Million Pound Experiment and multiple other shows where the people invest miniscule amounts of money and come out millionaires. And they ALWAYS sell the homes at a gross (err, disgusting) profit margin.

Other people dream of beaches (or whatever ;-)). I, at the start of my slumber, buy a run down old home in the downtown core. Then, before REM kicks in, I have single-handedly gutted the electrical and plumbing and opened up the main floor to a "modern open concept plan." By the time Todd comes to bed, I have refinished the floors and am choosing the tile for the newly created powder room.

My addiction has gotten so bad now that I drive by homes wondering, how bad is it inside? For better or for worse.... I suspect that I will have to come clean at some point in my life and pony up to taking the flipper risk. It seems a shame to have been taught so well by Holmes on Homes and never actually put that knowledge to risk.

Snore ... articulated band saw ... hand held power sander .... snoooze ....