Can you lose yourself?
So, the other day I met up with an old friend from my days at CPP. It appears that it is a small world and we ran into each other at my current "gig". While we had lots in common seven or eight years ago our lives have taken a decidedly different path. You see he has no kids. He has a wife. He has a house. I think they might even have a cat but they have made the conscious choice to NOT have children. I think I actually gaped, open-mouthed at him. That was a possibility in life I asked?
After relishing in the thought for just a second or two, I gathered my strength and started up a conversation. This person, after all, was someone I had no trouble talking with for 7.5 hours a day for quite a while. The trouble is that he had no interest in my children. Or the waterpark activities. Or balancing school commitments.
What does one talk about when you don't have children, I asked myself. And, is it possible to completely lose yourself in your childrens' lives? Apparently, it is.
I began the barrage of questions, similar to a science experiment (Jon would be proud). My hypothesis is that deep down *unbeknownst to even him* he actually DID want kids and I was going to show that to him....insert outwardly obvious laughter here... What do you do with your time, I asked. Him: nothing much - I still golf alot, play baseball, just did a half marathon and now hold an executive position within his organization. Yes, well that may all seem very interesting (I said though not believing him) but what do you do with your money??? Him: I don't worry too much about money; we always seem to have some.
Then, I lost interest. The experiment reached its conclusion: You see, once children enter the picture it is possible to lose interest in the things that were once important to you. And things that are irrelevant to those without children become points for discussion. It has become possible for my friendships to evolve to include children and parents grow personally to realize that there are stages in life where it isn't all about you. And it becomes rather comfortable.
After relishing in the thought for just a second or two, I gathered my strength and started up a conversation. This person, after all, was someone I had no trouble talking with for 7.5 hours a day for quite a while. The trouble is that he had no interest in my children. Or the waterpark activities. Or balancing school commitments.
What does one talk about when you don't have children, I asked myself. And, is it possible to completely lose yourself in your childrens' lives? Apparently, it is.
I began the barrage of questions, similar to a science experiment (Jon would be proud). My hypothesis is that deep down *unbeknownst to even him* he actually DID want kids and I was going to show that to him....insert outwardly obvious laughter here... What do you do with your time, I asked. Him: nothing much - I still golf alot, play baseball, just did a half marathon and now hold an executive position within his organization. Yes, well that may all seem very interesting (I said though not believing him) but what do you do with your money??? Him: I don't worry too much about money; we always seem to have some.
Then, I lost interest. The experiment reached its conclusion: You see, once children enter the picture it is possible to lose interest in the things that were once important to you. And things that are irrelevant to those without children become points for discussion. It has become possible for my friendships to evolve to include children and parents grow personally to realize that there are stages in life where it isn't all about you. And it becomes rather comfortable.
posted by y-vonne at 4:45 AM
2 Comments:
Whatdo you mean this stage is not all about me?
Of course from my perspective it is all abouting grooming smaller versions of myself that are interested in my hobbies, therefore ensuring years of willing playmates for me. Go Go Junior gamers club.
You see I do read you . Am in Sudbury with Sue.
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