Tips for Working Mothers
Being a mother and an employee – and being good at both – can sometimes seem impossible. At the end of the day it is easy to collapse into bed exhausted with a list of things still not completed. I have some tips for balancing both that have worked in my life that I would like to share. They may not all work for you, but if it can decrease your stress even a little then I will consider myself successful.
Delegate Chores
Kids can play a role that is appropriate for their ages and it is valuable for them to learn that a family needs to work together. Each one of the kids, yes, even the 1 year old, will throw their dirty laundry and towels over the railing to the main floor for washing at the end of the day. My four year old and seven year old both help set the table and certainly clear their dishes into the dishwasher at the end of the meal. In fact, at seven, my eldest is often called on to help in the preparation of the meal. A salad is something that is perfect for him to get on to the table and it means one less thing for me to prepare.
Organize
If everything goes back in its place when done, finding things are much easier when you need to. Often, a great deal of time is spent simply locating the items to complete the task before a task can even be started. In my house, I have one drawer in the kitchen for each of the kids. I ask that they place the toys “they are still using” in the drawers rather than on the floor. When the drawers get full either they empty them and return the things where they belong or I empty them – into the garbage.
Multi-task
With three kids, it is very rare that I focus on one thing at at time. Homework is done under my supervision at the kitchen table while I prepare a meal. Nails are clipped while practising reading. Use the time driving in the car to talk – and listen – about how the day went and what could be learned from the things that happened while at school, playgroup or playing with each other at hom.
Teachable Moments
Life is filled with moments where you can teach your kids the practical applications of learning, without having to sit at a desk. My kids learn fractions while helping me bake; they learn animal care and the cycle of life while filling a bird feeder; they learn basic physics on swings, scooters and bikes.
Have a Safe Zone
Have a spot in the house or in the backyard that requires minimal supervision from parents. There are some tasks that are more efficient to be completed without little helpers and times when you just need the kids to go and play. During the summer, I am liberal with fruit juice popsicles in the backyard. The three kids sit on the swings and it buys me 15 minutes to focus on something.
Plan Your Morning
Mornings will go more smoothly if you do some things the night before. Ensure homework is done and backpacks are packed. One working mom I know even puts out bowls, spoons and cereal choices for the morning. Teach kids to get themselves ready in the morning by putting up a wall chart that lists: "brush teeth," "put on sunscreen," "get dressed," "eat breakfast" and whatever else they need to do.
Control Work Commitments
Don't let work pressures eat into your family time. Studies show that people are more productive if they are bound by a requirement to leave the office on time. If there are times when one of you has to work late, make it an all bets are off night. Order pizza and relax with the children. They will learn to cherish the “daddy” or “mommy” nights.
Plan Meals Ahead
Grocery shop once per week and make it a family event. Have the children pick out their "healthy choices" for lunches and snacks, hopefully minimizing the complaints that there is nothing to eat. Get a cookbook that contains easy-to-prepare recipes. Double a recipe and freeze half for another meal. When you're making a salad, make double and save half for the next night. Keep lasagnas or other one-dish meals in the freezer for nights when you don't feel like cooking. Designate your most hectic night as order-out night and get pizza or Chinese food. Lower your standards to PbandJs with soup some nights.
Use Your Lunch Time
Moms tend to put themselves last on the list, but you need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of the others around you. So take care of yourself: Go to the gym at lunch, get your haircut or waxing done. Run errands like looking for that pair of shoes or outfit for a special event.
Be a Couple
Get a babysitter as often as you can afford – once a month is perfect for us. It doesn't have to be fancy. Even a trip to the bookstore will help the two of you remember what it's like to be adults together. And thanks to Chapters and Starbucks, it is only the cost of a coffee…
What about you? Any hints to offer?
Delegate Chores
Kids can play a role that is appropriate for their ages and it is valuable for them to learn that a family needs to work together. Each one of the kids, yes, even the 1 year old, will throw their dirty laundry and towels over the railing to the main floor for washing at the end of the day. My four year old and seven year old both help set the table and certainly clear their dishes into the dishwasher at the end of the meal. In fact, at seven, my eldest is often called on to help in the preparation of the meal. A salad is something that is perfect for him to get on to the table and it means one less thing for me to prepare.
Organize
If everything goes back in its place when done, finding things are much easier when you need to. Often, a great deal of time is spent simply locating the items to complete the task before a task can even be started. In my house, I have one drawer in the kitchen for each of the kids. I ask that they place the toys “they are still using” in the drawers rather than on the floor. When the drawers get full either they empty them and return the things where they belong or I empty them – into the garbage.
Multi-task
With three kids, it is very rare that I focus on one thing at at time. Homework is done under my supervision at the kitchen table while I prepare a meal. Nails are clipped while practising reading. Use the time driving in the car to talk – and listen – about how the day went and what could be learned from the things that happened while at school, playgroup or playing with each other at hom.
Teachable Moments
Life is filled with moments where you can teach your kids the practical applications of learning, without having to sit at a desk. My kids learn fractions while helping me bake; they learn animal care and the cycle of life while filling a bird feeder; they learn basic physics on swings, scooters and bikes.
Have a Safe Zone
Have a spot in the house or in the backyard that requires minimal supervision from parents. There are some tasks that are more efficient to be completed without little helpers and times when you just need the kids to go and play. During the summer, I am liberal with fruit juice popsicles in the backyard. The three kids sit on the swings and it buys me 15 minutes to focus on something.
Plan Your Morning
Mornings will go more smoothly if you do some things the night before. Ensure homework is done and backpacks are packed. One working mom I know even puts out bowls, spoons and cereal choices for the morning. Teach kids to get themselves ready in the morning by putting up a wall chart that lists: "brush teeth," "put on sunscreen," "get dressed," "eat breakfast" and whatever else they need to do.
Control Work Commitments
Don't let work pressures eat into your family time. Studies show that people are more productive if they are bound by a requirement to leave the office on time. If there are times when one of you has to work late, make it an all bets are off night. Order pizza and relax with the children. They will learn to cherish the “daddy” or “mommy” nights.
Plan Meals Ahead
Grocery shop once per week and make it a family event. Have the children pick out their "healthy choices" for lunches and snacks, hopefully minimizing the complaints that there is nothing to eat. Get a cookbook that contains easy-to-prepare recipes. Double a recipe and freeze half for another meal. When you're making a salad, make double and save half for the next night. Keep lasagnas or other one-dish meals in the freezer for nights when you don't feel like cooking. Designate your most hectic night as order-out night and get pizza or Chinese food. Lower your standards to PbandJs with soup some nights.
Use Your Lunch Time
Moms tend to put themselves last on the list, but you need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of the others around you. So take care of yourself: Go to the gym at lunch, get your haircut or waxing done. Run errands like looking for that pair of shoes or outfit for a special event.
Be a Couple
Get a babysitter as often as you can afford – once a month is perfect for us. It doesn't have to be fancy. Even a trip to the bookstore will help the two of you remember what it's like to be adults together. And thanks to Chapters and Starbucks, it is only the cost of a coffee…
What about you? Any hints to offer?
posted by y-vonne at 5:45 AM
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