I dunno
I was speaking with my SIL yesterday morning. at 6:30 am. Apparently, even after two years, the time change from Europe to Canada still escapes her. But I digress.
We were talking about the kids (her three and my three) and some of the differences we have noticed in personalities and approaches in life. She is comfortable in a small town in Germany having her seven and five year old outside in a field about 5 - 6 houses away playing with each other. I would not even consider that. But we talked about reasoning and my thoughts are that 1) I don't trust the people around me and 2) I don't trust that my kids will not get into trouble. Jen had me questioning though - was there ever a time when your kids DID get into trouble? I could not think of a solid answer.
My kids are generally good kids. Will they fight with other kids? Absolutely! But it is rare and, for the most part, they will talk it out (by that I mean a little name calling) and walk (or run) away.
As I cleaned in the silence of an empty house yesterday I thought maybe it was time for me to give my kids more autonomy. It would certainly be easier on me. Then I walked into Keegan's room. Somehow (I dunno how) the picture frames that are on the shelf above his bed are all lying face down. As I approach, I realize that the photos have been pulled out of the frames (they are children's frames with a filmy plastic covering and no glass). They are the shapes of animals. One is missing his tail. All the photos are crumpled into little heaps and the prop on the back of one of the frames has been ripped off.
That Jen, is the reason that my children are not left unsupervised. I have no doubt that my two year old would not have been trying to destroy the frames or the pictures. In his curiosity, he was no doubt wondering how the pictures go in, WHY they go in, how the frames stand, etc. And yet, I no longer have three adorable picture frames in his room.
We were talking about the kids (her three and my three) and some of the differences we have noticed in personalities and approaches in life. She is comfortable in a small town in Germany having her seven and five year old outside in a field about 5 - 6 houses away playing with each other. I would not even consider that. But we talked about reasoning and my thoughts are that 1) I don't trust the people around me and 2) I don't trust that my kids will not get into trouble. Jen had me questioning though - was there ever a time when your kids DID get into trouble? I could not think of a solid answer.
My kids are generally good kids. Will they fight with other kids? Absolutely! But it is rare and, for the most part, they will talk it out (by that I mean a little name calling) and walk (or run) away.
As I cleaned in the silence of an empty house yesterday I thought maybe it was time for me to give my kids more autonomy. It would certainly be easier on me. Then I walked into Keegan's room. Somehow (I dunno how) the picture frames that are on the shelf above his bed are all lying face down. As I approach, I realize that the photos have been pulled out of the frames (they are children's frames with a filmy plastic covering and no glass). They are the shapes of animals. One is missing his tail. All the photos are crumpled into little heaps and the prop on the back of one of the frames has been ripped off.
That Jen, is the reason that my children are not left unsupervised. I have no doubt that my two year old would not have been trying to destroy the frames or the pictures. In his curiosity, he was no doubt wondering how the pictures go in, WHY they go in, how the frames stand, etc. And yet, I no longer have three adorable picture frames in his room.
posted by y-vonne at 4:23 AM
3 Comments:
Something you have to remember is that there are societal norms at play as well here (and in Canada). It is quite common for very young children to walk themselves to school, across busy roads, in the dark. It is also common for children to spend lots of time just playing - with friends etc - in a less structured way then in N.America where the concern is that if they are not busy they are in trouble. However, I still think that kids need time to think, time to play - and quite frankly, time to get into some trouble so that they understand boundaries - and learn to earn trust.
I can remember my parents letting me go to the local bar when we lived in Africa - but of course there was nowhere else to go - and so the reality was it was the safest place. When I came back to Canada suddenly restrictions were in place again - which were a big challenge for my 16yr old brain.
We will try to walk the line when we come back - but it will be difficult I am sure for everyone but BJ - who is just happy to be her!!
Yoda's Papa!
I hope this came across more as a comment on my boys than any kind of criticism on the freedoms children can find in a small German town. I think your kids are very lucky to be able to safely have such freedoms and both parents are lucky to be in that kind of an environment.
I didn't mean to sound insulted - I just meant that we all function within what is reasonable to do in the society in which we live. So we allow our kids - who are relatively young - to play by themselves not directly supervised. We probably wouldn't do that in Canada.
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