Public Service Announcement
While some would argue that I should have come to this conclusion years ago, I would like to announce that I am officially done. It is over. Not even a glimmer.
Last night, I went to the hospital to visit a girlfriend who just had her first child. I have three children and, at times, struggle to cope to keep up with the chaos. Yet, somewhere in my head I never wanted to believe that the baby stage of my life was over. I was not seriously considering four – that would be insane – but I was not ready to accept that I would never feel the kicks of a growing child inside me again.
Until last night.
The baby was cute. Only two days old and angelic looking. I held him for the whole time that I was there and felt the inner peace that comes with such trust. And I sensed the anxiety of the mother – would he EVER nurse well? Will I make the right choices? How will this affect our lives?
And I realized, I have been there. I did not feel the pull to take this little guy home (cute as he was) and make him mine. While I loved the nursing bond and nothing is better than snuggling with a sleeping little sausage baby (they all look like sausages at that age), I am done and am content to sleep with other people’s sausages .
I have moved on to the stage where the children can interact – God save me – and have their own opinions and are capable of compassion for others. While I would love to be able to freeze my life right now and have none of us grow older, that is not a possibility and I am content to simply watch them bloom.
Public Service Announcement is complete.
My spouse can breathe again.
Last night, I went to the hospital to visit a girlfriend who just had her first child. I have three children and, at times, struggle to cope to keep up with the chaos. Yet, somewhere in my head I never wanted to believe that the baby stage of my life was over. I was not seriously considering four – that would be insane – but I was not ready to accept that I would never feel the kicks of a growing child inside me again.
Until last night.
The baby was cute. Only two days old and angelic looking. I held him for the whole time that I was there and felt the inner peace that comes with such trust. And I sensed the anxiety of the mother – would he EVER nurse well? Will I make the right choices? How will this affect our lives?
And I realized, I have been there. I did not feel the pull to take this little guy home (cute as he was) and make him mine. While I loved the nursing bond and nothing is better than snuggling with a sleeping little sausage baby (they all look like sausages at that age), I am done and am content to sleep with other people’s sausages .
I have moved on to the stage where the children can interact – God save me – and have their own opinions and are capable of compassion for others. While I would love to be able to freeze my life right now and have none of us grow older, that is not a possibility and I am content to simply watch them bloom.
Public Service Announcement is complete.
My spouse can breathe again.
posted by y-vonne at 4:36 AM
4 Comments:
Does that mean I cancel the reversal procedure.
Oh boy, I hope I can get there soon.
With two, my husband was done. And I thought I was, until recently. Now I *wish* there could be one more, but, sigh - husband already took care of that (with a vasectomy).
Overall, I am so content, and blessed beyond belief with my two sons. But I do hope I can stop being wistful someday soon.
Thanks for visiting, and for your kind coments.
I see we have a lot in common, surrounded by penises!
Anne
lol - I've always compared newborns to meatloaf, you know, but with arms and legs. But I do like the sausage analogy better. :)
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