Interesting parenting approach
I have started to hate Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I love the bows and the wrap and the smiles. It is the colds and the flu that seem to go hand-in-hand with this that I find less than heart-warming.
Over the Christmas season, my youngest developed an ear infection. Of course, New Year's Day was when it reared its ugly head and there was not a doctor's office open for miles. So, my husband placed a call to the emerg of the local hospital and explained the situation. We were assured they were not busy yet (it was 6:30 am) so I trotted off with him in tow to get a prescription.
He was darling. Fully medicated and feeling no pain, he read a book in the waiting room, watched a little of the hockey highlights and played with the 1-2 toys they had. When it was our turn, he trotted along beside me (in his PJs to the triage nurse) and stopped dead in his tracks. He can be nervous around strangers. And remember, he is sick. And well, two.
The nurse wanted him up on a chair. He refused so I sat on the chair and pulled him up on my lap. The nurse, in her nursely authority voice informed me: " You know mom, it is actually good for them to say 'no' every once in a while."
A few years back this would have sent me into a tailspin. Was I being too lenient? Would I raise a delinquent because I did not force him to sit in a chair on his own at the Emerg department? Who was I to think that I knew anything about this parenting job?
Having done this before with other children I politely thanked her for her advice and (ok, maybe there was a 'tone' to my response) I informed her that Keegan was not my first little boy and I had dealt with two year olds with ear infections in the past. I was pretty comfortable picking my battles and this was not one that I was going to win. Nor was it really worth it.
Her response, while it sounds snarky, was honestly not. "Oh, so you're an expert," she said. "Three boys?" I quickly told her that I was not a parenting expert, simply a mother who had found the rhythm that worked for each of her children and their lifestyle. That I chose NOT to have a power struggle with a sick two year old.
Her following honesty surprised me: She told me that she too had three kids. Two girls and a boy and that she had had her children young. She wished that she had had the wisdom to pick the fights that are important to win and to let her children win a couple sometimes too. It might mean that they would now be a bigger part of her life.
I have no idea whether I am picking the right issues. I have no idea whether I am too lenient or too strict. I know that my seven year old is a wonderful child, well-behaved and liked by his teachers. My four year old can be a difficult work in progress but I have every faith that by seven or eight, he too will have learned the social graces needed for successful relationships in life. As for the two year old? Bets are still out on that one.
Over the Christmas season, my youngest developed an ear infection. Of course, New Year's Day was when it reared its ugly head and there was not a doctor's office open for miles. So, my husband placed a call to the emerg of the local hospital and explained the situation. We were assured they were not busy yet (it was 6:30 am) so I trotted off with him in tow to get a prescription.
He was darling. Fully medicated and feeling no pain, he read a book in the waiting room, watched a little of the hockey highlights and played with the 1-2 toys they had. When it was our turn, he trotted along beside me (in his PJs to the triage nurse) and stopped dead in his tracks. He can be nervous around strangers. And remember, he is sick. And well, two.
The nurse wanted him up on a chair. He refused so I sat on the chair and pulled him up on my lap. The nurse, in her nursely authority voice informed me: " You know mom, it is actually good for them to say 'no' every once in a while."
A few years back this would have sent me into a tailspin. Was I being too lenient? Would I raise a delinquent because I did not force him to sit in a chair on his own at the Emerg department? Who was I to think that I knew anything about this parenting job?
Having done this before with other children I politely thanked her for her advice and (ok, maybe there was a 'tone' to my response) I informed her that Keegan was not my first little boy and I had dealt with two year olds with ear infections in the past. I was pretty comfortable picking my battles and this was not one that I was going to win. Nor was it really worth it.
Her response, while it sounds snarky, was honestly not. "Oh, so you're an expert," she said. "Three boys?" I quickly told her that I was not a parenting expert, simply a mother who had found the rhythm that worked for each of her children and their lifestyle. That I chose NOT to have a power struggle with a sick two year old.
Her following honesty surprised me: She told me that she too had three kids. Two girls and a boy and that she had had her children young. She wished that she had had the wisdom to pick the fights that are important to win and to let her children win a couple sometimes too. It might mean that they would now be a bigger part of her life.
I have no idea whether I am picking the right issues. I have no idea whether I am too lenient or too strict. I know that my seven year old is a wonderful child, well-behaved and liked by his teachers. My four year old can be a difficult work in progress but I have every faith that by seven or eight, he too will have learned the social graces needed for successful relationships in life. As for the two year old? Bets are still out on that one.
posted by y-vonne at 6:57 AM
2 Comments:
You are a great parent. I have seen all aspects of it. Rest assured, all three will shine.....but only after they have put you through the throes of teenage years.
Good for you to stick to your guns and not let her push you around. Why do people even do that? Especially when he was clearly sick...
Post a Comment
<< Home