Day One: The Nanny vs. the Four Year Old
All children have their blessings. Some of them just make those blessings harder to see at the beginning. :-)
Aiden is very strong-willed. Of my three, he is the brave one, having to undergo oxygen masks and hospitals at a very young age. As he explores his environment and his personality develops this strength can show advantages and well, NOT advantages.
I had thought that the youngest child would prove to be the most challenging for a new caregiver. At only two, he is quite attached to my husband and I and certainly not used to be cared for by strangers. According to the sitter though, he was as good as gold yesterday. I could hear the tension in her voice when she spoke about Aiden though.
You see, there is very little in Aiden's life that HE has control over. The middle child of three boys he often gets hand-me-down clothes and toys and plays the same games with the younger siblings of Liam's friends. His reaction to this can be very difficult. He is stubborn, nee obstinate. And will argue the colour of the sky with you until you want to pull our his hair.
If the caregiver suggested going outside, he wanted to stay inside. When the caregiver made chicken wraps for lunch, (which he loves) he refused to eat them. He fought with (and hit) his younger brother repeatedly. Apparently, he sat on the cat, which I have never seen him do. All in all, he was in a mood.
I have offered coping strategies like "maybe Monopoly is not the kind of game that three boys 2 - 7 can play together easily" ... "sure, 2 - 3 hours of xbox is alright over the holidays". That kind of thing.
All in all, they need to find their routine together. The caregiver "banana" needs to learn to negotiate and explain to Aiden, differing greatly from the simply commands that Liam and Keegan will (sometimes) listen to. She will need to learn to see the huge capacity for love and the tenacity of his loyalty. And he will need to learn to cope better with others and learn the social graces that come from bowing down, even though you completely believe the sky to be pink.
I just hope this works out because the other boys seem to really like her.
Aiden is very strong-willed. Of my three, he is the brave one, having to undergo oxygen masks and hospitals at a very young age. As he explores his environment and his personality develops this strength can show advantages and well, NOT advantages.
I had thought that the youngest child would prove to be the most challenging for a new caregiver. At only two, he is quite attached to my husband and I and certainly not used to be cared for by strangers. According to the sitter though, he was as good as gold yesterday. I could hear the tension in her voice when she spoke about Aiden though.
You see, there is very little in Aiden's life that HE has control over. The middle child of three boys he often gets hand-me-down clothes and toys and plays the same games with the younger siblings of Liam's friends. His reaction to this can be very difficult. He is stubborn, nee obstinate. And will argue the colour of the sky with you until you want to pull our his hair.
If the caregiver suggested going outside, he wanted to stay inside. When the caregiver made chicken wraps for lunch, (which he loves) he refused to eat them. He fought with (and hit) his younger brother repeatedly. Apparently, he sat on the cat, which I have never seen him do. All in all, he was in a mood.
I have offered coping strategies like "maybe Monopoly is not the kind of game that three boys 2 - 7 can play together easily" ... "sure, 2 - 3 hours of xbox is alright over the holidays". That kind of thing.
All in all, they need to find their routine together. The caregiver "banana" needs to learn to negotiate and explain to Aiden, differing greatly from the simply commands that Liam and Keegan will (sometimes) listen to. She will need to learn to see the huge capacity for love and the tenacity of his loyalty. And he will need to learn to cope better with others and learn the social graces that come from bowing down, even though you completely believe the sky to be pink.
I just hope this works out because the other boys seem to really like her.
posted by y-vonne at 4:46 AM
1 Comments:
Your mother's insight into where this little guy comes from and what he needs is heartwarming. If only all parents and adults in general had that understanding whendealing with children...that the winning of the war is guaranteed if willing to lose unimportant battles along the way. maybe you will be able to give her plenty of insight and this does not become a battle of the wills. Hug him for me.
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