The Riot Act
Todd and I are mean parents. Mean, mean, mean.
You see, our house is unlivable these days. We are all busy and under a great deal of stress preparing for the Christmas Season but, apparently, none of our three children are capable of playing independently, even for five minutes, without chaos erupting.
Now, I am sure you think I am exagerating. I assure you I am not. I have timed them while trying to clean up the kitchen after a meal. The two youngest cannot play with their toys for more than two minutes without a fight erupting. And they are the ones that get along. When you bring in the eldest, there is no limit to the nasty exchanges.
So, contrary to my husband's soft spot parenting, mean mom came in. When I arrived home my spouse had lost it. Completely. All three boys had been sent to their rooms. And there was wailing and nashing of teeth. So, I took away a Christmas present.
For the record, this was not a surprise. I too, had lost it over the weekend and sat down for a heart-to-heart. The boys are given ample warnings but, when they do not listen, I will take away a present. Grandmaman, I know this will kill you to hear but the situation has really gotten to this point. So far, Aiden has lost two presents and Liam has lost one.
They do have the opportunity to earn them back with good behaviour. When they are "caught" being kind to each other or helping out they can earn back a present that they have lost.
I have no idea if this system is going to work and how I will manage this after Christmas but it seemed to work last night. I can home to an unhappy house filled with chaos and aggression. At bedtime last night, the boys helped each other get ready for bed. Without being asked. Without fights. The only trouble that I see is taht they were looking over their shoulders to make sure there were witnessed. I can only hope that the behaviour becomes internalized at some point.
Either that or I am giving them away to a farm. And not a nice one.
You see, our house is unlivable these days. We are all busy and under a great deal of stress preparing for the Christmas Season but, apparently, none of our three children are capable of playing independently, even for five minutes, without chaos erupting.
Now, I am sure you think I am exagerating. I assure you I am not. I have timed them while trying to clean up the kitchen after a meal. The two youngest cannot play with their toys for more than two minutes without a fight erupting. And they are the ones that get along. When you bring in the eldest, there is no limit to the nasty exchanges.
So, contrary to my husband's soft spot parenting, mean mom came in. When I arrived home my spouse had lost it. Completely. All three boys had been sent to their rooms. And there was wailing and nashing of teeth. So, I took away a Christmas present.
For the record, this was not a surprise. I too, had lost it over the weekend and sat down for a heart-to-heart. The boys are given ample warnings but, when they do not listen, I will take away a present. Grandmaman, I know this will kill you to hear but the situation has really gotten to this point. So far, Aiden has lost two presents and Liam has lost one.
They do have the opportunity to earn them back with good behaviour. When they are "caught" being kind to each other or helping out they can earn back a present that they have lost.
I have no idea if this system is going to work and how I will manage this after Christmas but it seemed to work last night. I can home to an unhappy house filled with chaos and aggression. At bedtime last night, the boys helped each other get ready for bed. Without being asked. Without fights. The only trouble that I see is taht they were looking over their shoulders to make sure there were witnessed. I can only hope that the behaviour becomes internalized at some point.
Either that or I am giving them away to a farm. And not a nice one.
posted by y-vonne at 4:49 AM
3 Comments:
And in the midst of the chaos I was also removing the plumbing under the sink in the boys bathroom to unclog a half roll of toilet paper that my littlest had "moistened" to help clean the white boards.
Off came the trap, the plug and the U shaped pipe.
And what a surprise, not just toilet paper, but a lifetime of fish tanking cleaning slime.
The season itself is reason enough for chaos. Taking away toys( although not Santa's as they are sacred) and banishing to rooms is not a bad thing. Sometimes just setting aside quiet time, real established quiet time( start small..like 10 minutes then work up to 6 hours of the day :)) , where they have to go there to read, or play with a toy, or even body parts...is not a bad thing. Some times there is just too much stimulation in their lives and in family life in general. Every parent loses it at some time, even those that seem to wear a halo over their heads and talk about the good ole times. Hang in. It gets better when they leave home for University.
Dependent on what my oncologist says today, I'd still love to have that middle boy of yours for a few days after Christmas. We'll work out the details later. Maybe give you some respite.
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